The point being, I have my hands full. And I would just appreciate it if my husband helped out every once in a while. He, however, doesn't see what I really do with my time and just thinks I slack off.
So we are doing an experiment where I work his hours and we split the stuff that doesn't get done 50/50 on the weekends. Fine, right? Since I have to get up earlier, I'm getting more things done, but otherwise it is the same old routine. I'm only on the computer while I nurse my son, for lunch break, and after work.
The experiment is going well so far, but instead of making me happy this arrangement is just making me more depressed. Why? I'm not sure but my theory is that I don't think marriage should adopt the attitude of strict equality. I just end up sad when I have to keep track of how long it takes me to do laundry, so that my husband can spend equal time doing dishes. I realize that this is necessary in our experiment but when this experiment is over, I really don't want to do things like that anymore. I really don't care if I end up doing more work than my husband. All I want, really, is for him to decide to help me once in a while.
In my vision, husbands and wives have their own things that they are supposed to accomplish on a regular basis. I'm supposed to take care of dishes, laundry, farm chores, etc... while he is supposed to take the trash out and empty the humidity bucket and go to work. But instead of strict roles, I need more flexibility. For example, every once in a while I'll take out the trash and empty the humidity bucket, every once in a while my husband helps with laundry or dishes or chores. I guess this is what I mean by "help each other." When there is a big project, I volunteer my help without my husband asking. But he never does the same with me. This is the real problem that I have, not that I'm doing more work overall.
So what do you think? Should everything be equal in a marriage?