Friday, August 10, 2012
My daughter is the warm memory of spring in the cold of winter. Her sleepy, soft little arms enfold me. She is a sweet hug, she is a joyful, bright smile, she is an enchanting, slobbery, baby kiss on my cheek. Her spirit is Love and kindness, the beautiful comfort of cuddling together, just sitting and snuggling and being. My Joy with her is her big brown eyes full of unrestrained love and happiness, the way she loves when I run my fingers through her soft brown curls, her strong, soft arms, her strong, soft belly, her ticklish neck and chubby legs. Her strong, soft back that I massage when she is sleepy. Strong and soft and joyful. That is my daughter. Memorable moments with my daughter are wordless, often silent. We are. We are together. My daughter is not a verb; she just Is. Her body and eyes hold all the meaning in the world. Together, we celebrate Life, and Love, in its moments of rest. My daughter is the power of Laughter. When she laughs, the whole world laughs. And she laughs at everything, smiles at everybody. I delight in her love of life. She is my daughter, the bubbly brook, the vast blue sky, sunlight alighting on the rocks.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I know it will be a hard road to healing, but I just want to say that I am lucky to have these children in my life, and I will do my best to help them in any way I can. My family grew from 4 to 6 two weeks ago, and I can't help feeling very protective and nurturing right now, even through my aggravation and stress. It's a difficult time, but we are in it together.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
This is what happened:
I was having contractions sporadically all day on the 27th, and really, really wanted this baby OUT (i was 39 weeks 4 days) so i walked, masturbated, did nipple stimulation, and then had sex with my husband. :) it worked (lol) and I started having intense contractions after the sex that were 2 minutes apart so we went to the hospital. :)
Since I had Group B Strep, they tried to get me hooked up to an IV for antibiotics. However, I have really small veins and they had to stick a needle in 4 different places before they were finally able to get an IV going. During this time I started active labor, so I was VERY uncomfortable to say the least! I was in heaven when they finally let me get out of the bed and walk around.
I wanted to have a natural birth, and the nurse was a wonderful labor coach. The contractions I felt were unlike those with my first child (which were extremely painful and unproductive), I was actually doing really well... but i was SO TIRED and felt sick. The nurses gave me a peppermint strip to put on my clothes and that helped a lot with the nausea, although I was still shaking and barely holding up. AND cervix checks hurt more than anything... I actually took a swing at my doctor (oops) when she was checking me (snicker)... then the contractions got nasty and unproductive :( I was stuck at 7 cm, so I got an epidural and GETTING it was hell... BUT when it took, it was heaven and I could finally sleep, although I was still shaking.
I woke up and they told me I was complete but they let me labor down for a long time because I didn't want to have a 3rd degree tear like with my first, and I wanted my epidural to wear off enough that I could feel when to push. It went so well... I pushed my lovely little girl out in 15 minutes (but still ended up with a 2nd degree tear, grrr). I could feel pressure but not pain :) They got a mirror and let me see my baby crowning... it was such a positive experience. And the moment I pushed her out they gave me my little baby girl and she was just so precious, I held her for a long time and even breastfed her before they finally took her away to get her APGAR scores. she weighed 6 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long. She has a full head of dark hair :) and she is so cuddly!
She is so tiny and beautiful and soft... I love her sooo much :) and the recovery isn't horrible. I don't feel like I've been hit by a mack truck like with my son, although I'm so so sore.
I'll post pictures soon :)