I'm Back!

No, I haven't forgotten about you, little blog, even though I haven't been updating you in... well, years.  My thoughts have not been coherent enough to warrant scribblings and musings that I could post publicly.  However, recently an event shook our family- the untimely death of my stepchildren's mother.  My stepchildren are wonderful, mature, and loving.  I have known them since they were 5 and 6, and they are now 11 and 13.  And although I admit that my dream was to have them move up here and become part of the family, I think it's obvious to say I didn't want it to happen like this.  I didn't know their mother, but I know them.  I didn't know anything about her pain and struggle with cancer for the past year and a half, but I know how it has affected her children.  I don't know anything about losing a loved one as close to me as a parent, but my own mother has struggled with cancer for this past year and I know that cancer is an enemy to all of us.  As divided as we all were, my heart goes out to those innocent children who have lost their mother, and also to her parents who have lost a daughter, her siblings who lost a sister, friends and family who lost a loved one.  As much as I know it's an impossibility, I don't want to be divided anymore.  I want to be united in our love for these kids.  It pisses me off that there is still so much bad blood and tension.  We should be working together for the good of these wonderful kids.  We should be banding together in a common fight against cancer.  We should be celebrating the life that she brought into this world, instead of lashing out at each other.

I know it will be a hard road to healing, but I just want to say that I am lucky to have these children in my life, and I will do my best to help them in any way I can.  My family grew from 4 to 6 two weeks ago, and I can't help feeling very protective and nurturing right now, even through my aggravation and stress.  It's a difficult time, but we are in it together.