Sunday, October 18, 2009

The One Regret

I am loving my new life direction! I absolutely live for the everyday gladness of being with my husband and son, taking care of our animals and land, and I look forward to the exciting new theater prospects that might turn up in the near future.

My one regret, however, is that there seems to be no room in my life for martial arts anymore. I never feel more at peace with myself than when I am doing martial arts. It speaks to my soul as nothing else does. I am very saddened that this part of my life has to step aside to make way for the new developments, as worthwhile as the new developments are. Perhaps in the future I can start up again, but for now I occasionally mourn for a large piece of my life which has gone into hiding.

At the same time I know that my new blessings are what I should really be focusing on right now. My life, like so many things, goes in cycles, and right now my focus is on my family and my home. Perhaps the wheel will turn again someday and I will be able to again practice the martial arts... but not until I have drunk deeply in the revelation of being a mother. :)

There is no gift without sacrifice.
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3 comments:

  1. GailOctober 18, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    Hi-
    there IS time - look harder.

    Love to you
    Gail
    peace....

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  2. The Rambling TaoistOctober 18, 2009 at 6:16 PM

    I agree with Gail. You may not be able to practice it as deeply as before, but, if it is something you are passionate about, you need not to let go of it.

    For people of my & Gail's age, we can certainly relate to you how things that are put on a back burner sometimes never come off again. When a person is younger, there's this belief that the proper time will come. It's only later that we learn that the proper time is any time the passion is there.

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  3. IktomiOctober 18, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    yes, i can always practice my forms by myself, but it just is not the same. i feel very lost and frustrated when i do things that way. and the nearest martial arts facility is 40 minutes away and cost $60 per month... something that i just cannot afford especially when i would only be able to make it to one class a week at most. :/

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