Tired Tired Tired

Up late at night with a sick, teething baby. Up in the morning when he gets up. Up in the afternoon doing chores while he naps. Up at night with a bladder infection. (Niiiice) :( Cutting out dairy to see if Taevyn is reacting to it. Yes, I had a meltdown. Now, I'm just kind of in the zone though. I'm a little more irritable than normal and I have a killer migraine but I'm not really upset about it. One of our goats died. :( Not sure why, but we dewormed the rest of the goats earlier today to make sure if they are overloaded with worms, that it gets taken care of. There is something going through the herd, making a few does skinny and paralyzed Eclipse (our dairy buck.) So it's been kind of rough lately. Yet, I find myself able to cope with the stress a little better. It honestly helps to know that Chris is there for me and helping me. He really has been picking up the slack lately and it makes me feel loved and optimistic that we can handle everything.

Despite all this, though, I've been working on new challenges. I've been more proactive with cooking meals, especially since I've had to cut out dairy. (One of my goals is to eat healthier) I got a new chore schedule up (the Dreaded Schedule dun dun duuuun!) which I really didn't want to do (because I thrive on chaos most of the time) but it's actually taking a load off my back because I don't have to think "OK what do I need to get done today?" I just look and see. :) Which comes in handy when my brain don't work so good due to sleep deprivation and being scattered and overloaded. Plus it gives me a feeling of accomplishment when I get my stuff done.

Also, I'm seriously considering adopting an older girl (around 10-13) from the foster system. (Say what?) :) We're not the kind of people who need to have given birth to a child in order to love them, and if there were a girl out there whose dream is to live on a farm with a stable family and younger siblings, then, well, we would be happy to make that dream a reality and gain another family member in the process. :) I guess I've been considering this for a while but never really had a clear picture in my head of what our family will look like, (How many kids should we have? At what ages? Biologically or adopted?) but it's slowly coming together.

The question is, can I handle it, with all the other things going on in my life? Who knows. I think it's something I want to do eventually, but I'm not sure what the timeline will be for this, if it happens. Adoption is a lengthy process in and of itself, so even if we started getting ready now, it'd still take a considerable time. I guess I just feel like we have a lot to offer a child, and of course my instinct never wants to wait. I have a feeling like I'm being "called" to this, though, and if I am, I'll know when it's time. I think I'll want to get the ball rolling and if it takes its time getting down the hill, I'll be OK with that.