Stay at Home Mom

I really dislike being dependent.

At age 12, I started really resenting the fact that I was so dependent on my parents. I wanted to be as independent as possible, but became surly over the fact that I couldn't drive, couldn't live on my own, couldn't be hired to work, etc... As a homeschooler, I was already pretty much in charge of my own education, or at least I wasn't being micromanaged when it came to school. That responsibility made me happy. I just wished I could be entrusted with more decisions in my own life. This attitude lasted all through high school up until I moved out of my parent's house.

Now, I'm facing the same sort of resentment, and I'm really trying not to let it get to me. I'm a stay-at-home mom, which means I'm depending on my husband to provide financially for me while he is depending on me to watch our son, farm, and house.

I love being a stay-at-home mom! I love the independence that comes from setting my own hours, work schedule, and pace. I love the feeling of accomplishment when I get a big project done despite a toddler running around and trying to ruin my efforts, and I love the flexibility of being able to take a trip to the grocery store or library on MY schedule. When I worked outside the home, I was miserable. I was micromanaged and I didn't get along well with my managers. I thought I did a good job and I certainly wasn't slacking, but I felt constantly watched, criticized, and judged. Often, I felt like expectations weren't clear and I therefore couldn't live up to them. Being a stay-at-home mom is a lot like homeschooling, I can get what I need to get done and not worry about the things that inevitably don't get done.

However, I really dislike the fact that I don't get paid for it! It rubs me the wrong way to have to ask my husband to pay for something. I hate asking for "his money" and I hate just taking "his money." And he hates it too! I know he feels like he has to constantly evaluate my purchases because he doesn't trust me to spend his money wisely. It's a big fat thorn in my dream job. And I'm not sure how to fix it, either. Hopefully, the farm will become prosperous enough to provide me with a little money of my own. Or, after the kids have grown a little, I could get a part time job or a home-based business. Or, my husband could just learn to TRUST me with OUR money... but I'm not sure if that will ever happen.

Baby Brain

...I forgot what I was going to post.

.... This seems to be a perpetual state lately.

Ultrasound! :D

Today I had my ultrasound! I got to see this little baby that's growing inside my uterus. She... yes, SHE, was being camera shy so I didn't get any really cute pictures like I did with my son.

However, I am so stoked that I'm having a daughter! I can't believe it! :) To me, a son and a daughter are just so perfect, I'm wondering what I ever did to deserve this happy life. She looks happy and healthy and everything is measuring normal.

Parenting Naturally on a Budget Part 3: Laundry

These are just a couple tips to be more cost-efficient when doing your laundry, and better for the environment at the same time.

1. Wash most or all of your laundry in cold water.

Most laundry gets just as clean in cold water. It's a simple step to take. Exceptions are washing cloth diapers, clothes or sheets with bodily fluids on them, or anything that has sopped up massive quantities of milk (such as my milk-straining or cheese-making cloths. Or spit up rags.) Washing underwear and socks in hot water is the norm, but honestly I haven't found a difference in cleanliness if I only wash them in hot every other time.

2. Use less soap.

Most people use too much soap. The recommended amount of soap on the jug of detergent is usually too much. You can be just as effective by using 1/2 the recommended amount, or 2/3 if you want to be safe.

3. Make your own laundry detergent!

If you are concerned about the chemicals in commercial laundry soap, or have sensitive skin, then make your own! There are many recipes on the internet, and I will post one here. The powdered form usually does the best, but some washers will only take liquid detergent.

2 Cups Soap, finely grated (Fels Naptha is the most commonly used kind, but I make my own organic soap!)

1 Cup Washing Soda (Not Baking Soda- washing soda. I found it in my grocery store but you might have to go to a department store or Fleet Farm.)

1 Cup Borax (I found this at Fleet Farm. Sometimes grocery/department stores also carry it.)

Mix well and store in an airtight container. Use 2 TBSP per load.

Easy, huh? :) All ingredients are pretty darn cheap, and making laundry soap isn't hard at all. What soap you use determines how "natural" the detergent is. Borax is pretty strong stuff, so don't let any little kids near it. But it's also a great cleaning agent for heavy duty jobs as well. Sometimes when I have a really messy clean-up (like cat pee on the carpet) I'll mix some borax and baking soda with water and wash with a rag. It does the job quite nicely!

4. Line-dry if you can.

If you live in a neighborhood that will allow you to line-dry your clothes, do it! It'll save you money and be better for the environment. Some people experience scratchy clothes when they line-dry, and if this happens, just add some vinegar to the rinse cycle before you hang them out to dry.

Also, they make "laundry trees" for winter use. You put the trees indoors and hang laundry on those. I love using these because in addition to drying the laundry, they also humidify your house! :) You can also use these in the warmer seasons if you put them in front of open windows and it's not too humid out.

Potty Training Journal

Day 3:

1. He now poops on the floor right next to his potty, but won't go inside it. Augh!

2. I... think he ate some of his own poop. :( Not dwelling on that too much...

3. He will sit on the grown-up potty as long as I let him read his dinosaur book while he's up there. :) Still never used it for its intended purpose, but at least he'll sit and try.

Potty Training Journal

Day 1: AUUUUGGGGHHHH!

Here's how my day went.

1. Kept him in a disposable while we ate breakfast and I cleaned up the house, getting everything off the floor, rolling rugs up and storing them because I KNEW what I was getting into!

2. Set him on the potty while I went too. He peed! YAY! Annnnnd then subsequently tried to play with the pee...

3. On second thought, I don't think he has the concept quite down. Put the potty in easy reach of him and he decided to put all his toys in it.

4. He now stands in the potty with both feet, puts toys in the potty, and tries to play with the poop that's on the floor. I am frantically trying to wipe up his accident with one hand while holding him at bay with the other.

5. He is now bored with the potty and won't sit on it for more than 2 seconds. I read to him: didn't work. Brought out a new toy: didn't work. Sang "itsy bitsy spider" with hand motions: didn't work. Guess he just doesn't want to sit still now.

6: Just woke up from his nap. He sat on the potty for a while: nothing happened. Then I put him in a cloth diaper and 2 seconds later: poop. Changed his diaper, sat him back on the potty: nothing. Of course.

7. Then again, he has been laughing and happy the entire day. Guess I am doing something right...

Pregnancy Commandments Part 5

9. Thou shalt not covet thy pregnant woman's baby name

If you're a friend or relative, and you like a name we picked out, don't say "oh that's a wonderful name, I think I'll name my puppy that." It's not a puppy name, it's a BABY name, more specifically, it's OUR baby's name and OUR intellectual property. OK, so most baby names are not our intellectual property, it just FEELS like it sometimes. Either way, name your puppy something else.

Penalty: We might yell out "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! I'M GONNA SUE YOU!" in a loud, angry voice. It might startle you enough to reconsider. Or, the conversation might go something like this, "Well, I'm glad that you like the name. However, it'd be too confusing to have 2 Jades in the family. I guess I'll have to give your daughter a nickname, like 'Wubby-wubby'."

10. Thou shalt not dictate to thy pregnant woman how to raise her child.

Maybe you've had 13 kids, maybe you just like to discuss childrearing despite having no real experience. But there's a difference between sharing tricks of the trade and dictating how someone else parents their child.

For example... Helpful: Using crisco or petroleum jelly on baby's bottom helps with diaper rashes. Unhelpful: If you let your baby sleep with you, he'll never learn to sleep in his own bed and become a dependent 30 year old still living in his parents' basement. Helpful: Sometimes leaving a fan on will help soothe babies to sleep. Unhelpful: Letting your baby cry for 5 minutes is cruel and wrong, if you do that you deserve to have your baby taken away!

Trust us, we have researched parenting methods and probably have figured out if we're going to spank or not spank, use cloth diapers or disposables, let our child run on the freeways or be strapped down in a padded room for their own safety. And if we don't know yet, we'll figure it out. Giving us tools to work with and use/discard as necessary is a lot different then judging a parenting method because you would never use it. If you have a solution to a common problem, by all means, we're all ears. If you want to put other parents down because obviously your way is better, shut it. We have better things to do than listen to such things. Like, painting the nursery for example.

Penalty: Bitch slap, with a "come to your senses!" in an imperious tone.